Shameela Yoosuf Ali, the editor of Fem Asia had published a couple of my poems back in... 2024, I think... and she was sweet enough to request me to send some more stuff which I did, and out of that she chose this little 1100 word story 'Ether Elf and Eidolon Leonard' where a neuroqueer elf comes down from Saturn to give an award to the ghost of Leonard Woolf... and... I'm telling you no more, read it yourself here.
Ether Elf and Eidolon Leonard
Ether Elf, in faraway Saturn, was
getting ready to embark on his journey. For this, he had to tie a wide strapped
belt, very very tightly around his waist and he was done. He was small,
piglet-like, pink in colour, yet he had the ability to emit light in various
colours. His elaborate belt tied at last- "jiggle jiggle! Let the world by
me squiggle!", he cried. Thus saying, he began spinning very fast, like a
top. He spun through space like he was a planet himself, hurtling across the
distance like a meteorite. On reaching earth, that planet inhabited by humans, he
decided to land in Sussex, England. He took out his skateboard with
wheels which sped fast across the countryside till he reached the little
village, Rodmell. Once in Rodmell, he asked around for Monk's House. It turned
out to be a large white building with a slate grey roof. It was a museum now,
but long ago, Virginia and Leonard Woolf had lived here. Ether had come here to
seek a meeting with Eidolon Leonard.
It was night time. Ether found
Leonard in an open courtyard, looking up at the moon, entranced. He seemed to
be talking to himself: "is this a miracle", he said "I can see
multiple multiple arcs of moon, proliferating, multiplying, criss-crossing each
other. They look like swords. So many of them--- bright luminous swords.
Is it the moon, or is it my eyes?" Ether stood at a slight distance and
watched. The silvery smoky ghost of Leonard seemed remarkably similar to the
moon. Now Ether had a special talent of ventriloquism. He could speak through
other objects, making it appear as if they were speaking. As Ether was from
Saturn, his powers of ventriloquism stretched across space. Not wanting to
disturb Leonard's entranced enraptured and ephemeral ghost by putting his
clammy hand on his shoulder, Ether now preferred to speak through: the
moon.
"Through history,
men have squabbled amongst themselves...." Eidolon Leonard was aghast to
hear a high-pitched squeaky voice coming from the moon. "as to the true
merit of Leonard Woolf. By and large, history seems to have forgotten him. A
pale non-entity beside his wife. Some have demeaned him, castigated him,
blaming him for their sexless marriage and Virginia 's eventual depression and
death. Most of Virginia's biographers, with much closer and deeper knowledge
have given him a Nobel Prize in marriage. Tonight, we will award Leonard Woolf
with a gold medal for queer masculinity. Masculinity with a difference. A
man with a difference. A different man." As he spoke, Ether tripped and
fell flat into a rosebush. As shrieks and squeals pealed forth from the
rosebush, Eidolon Leonard took pity on him and rescued him.
"Ah, thank you,
brother Ghost Leonard", continued Ether, quite unperturbed. "I see
the moon was talking to you. Ah well, actually, it was I. I, Ether Elf from
Saturn. Once I too lived on earth, but along with my fellow neurodivergent
brothers and sisters and trans-people, I was banished to Saturn as earth-humans
considered us mentally unhinged. I am as such not allowed on earth, but
sometimes I take advantage of nights like these."
"What makes you
visit me tonight, Ether Elf?", asked Eidolon Leonard curiously. "To
give you a World Prize for Queer Masculinity, of course", replied Ether
promptly. "So let me continue with the elegant, eloquent speech I was making
before I fell into the rosebush. Ahem...", he said, clearing his throat,
trying to squeak pompously
"The
neurodivergent folks of Saturn-- goblins, elves, fairies, werewolves, giants,
wizards and witches, and all magical creatures besides, have decided, one and
all, through unanimous vote of a select representative committee that the World
Prize for Queer Masculinity for all time rightfully goes to Leonard Woolf, a
man in a million. In a gazillion. Leonard Woolf no longer being alive to
receive the award, you, Eidolon Leonard, are the rightful proxy. Now the
neurodivergent folks of Saturn are mostly quite queer and weird and eccentric
and strange ourselves, being neurodivergent, differing form the normal, and
ethicality is a strong streak in most of us. Thus, we have a long list of very
good reasons for this award, which I will just enumerate.
Words fall short, Brother
Leonard, when one looks at you. For your ever patient, gentle, steadfast
treatment of Virginia --- despite her initial suspicions and mistrust on
account of you being a Jew. We, Saturnalians, look askance at the practices of
jealousy and rivalry prevalent among earth humans towards anyone else who may
love their beloved. We, Saturnalians, believe instead that an implicit shared
bond connects me and you if we share a beloved. This, what earth humans call
polyamory, is another reason for conferring the prize. For sharing her with
Vita, Violet, and even her sister Nessa, in her most intimate moments. Look at
Vita's husband, Harold Nicholson, and you stand out as the brightest shining
diamond in the sky, Leonard. But perhaps most of all, for truly respecting
Virginia 's fear of sex and for not forcing it upon her, despite your own
desires --- because we do know that you did have the desire, Leonard. For being
so gentle as to stop when she asked you to stop. For continuing to love her so
tenderly, and lifelong despite that Leonard, instead of forsaking her as many a
man would have done. For being by her side, in health and in sickness, always.
For being such a devoted husband. This in itself makes you queer and sets you
apart, Leonard. Let it be known that we Saturnalians do not give you the Nobel
Prize for Queer Masculinity for any relations of your own that you may have had
with other men, but for your relationship with Virginia. Similarly, Virginia's
queer relationship with Vita is world famous among earth humans, but we put the
Virginia -Leonard relationship on a higher pedestal, Leonard. Perhaps because
we neurodiverse folks dislike penetration as much as Virginia did, so we don't
see anything wrong with a sexless marriage. Rather, we think you a divine
angel, Leonard. And it is evident that to you and Ginny too, your relationship
was far, far stronger than any either of you could possibly have had with
anyone else. Ginny's suicide note to you says it all. We regard Virginia's
marriage to you as queerer than her relationship with Vita. Virginia was the
luckiest witch in the world to get a husband like you, Leonard. For all these
reasons then, the honour of the World Prize for Queer Masculinity is yours, and
rightfully so, for all time."
"Well, it is almost
daylight. I mustn't be caught here on earth. Too many neurotypical folks about,
on the watch out. But you are a kindred spirit, Eidolon Leonard. May we meet
again." Thus saying, Ether once again wound his wide strapped belt as
tightly as he could, and spun through space back safely to Saturn.
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